You're a small town Doctor and you don't want no trouble But I've got a friend that badly needs attention But leave your phone here and don't do nothing stupid O Doctor's daughter! Go into the kitchen But leave your phone here and don't do nothing stupid The best thing you can do is keep this to yourself You've got relations somewhere far away, and you've been meaning To visit them some day- well the good news Doctor is that Today is that day And when you get there, don't do nothing stupid Don't get too drunk and go blabbing to your cousin -Oh no! The best thing you can do is keep this to yourself See, I've got some friends that need me to stay free -And believe me Doctor, they're not nice like me! So the best thing that you can do, is exactly like I tell you to Exactly like I tell you to, and keep this to yourself