Making music has never been so hard for me
My brain has found it hard to breathe
I want someone to yell at me
And tell me that they wanted me
My music isn't part of me
It's someone that's inside of me
And he doesn't like his house
But he's still trapped in there with lock and key
And part of me still wants to let him out
But the silence in my head has made it hard for him to shout
And my fingers won't play notes and my mouth never makes a sound
And it's fucked up how these lyrics show up on the pages now
And it's fucked up that my mind is like a prison of my hopes and dreams
I wanna make another song or maybe two or seventeen
But if I say the things that I'm afraid of will I feel relief?
Or will I feel regret and maybe grief? Please, what should I believe?
I wanna write that album so my friends know I'm not dead
It feels like the thoughts I have don't ever leave my head
The mushrooms and the LSD can't show me what's ahead
And maybe that shit's bad for me but my ego's still not dead
I've been too fucking cocky and I've been a piece of shit
My friends don't recognize me and that's probably what I get
For thinking I'm the best when everyone keeps getting better
Did I think I was the king of SoundCloud? What did I expect?
What happened?
What happened to the songs I used to write so fucking hard?
Who are you?
What happened to the kid who called his online friends at night
(It's fucked up that my mind is like a prison of my hopes and dreams)
Making music has never been so hard for me
My brain has found it hard to breathe
(I wanna call the bitch police)
I want someone to yell at me
And tell me that they wanted me
My music isn't part of me
(So they can come arrest me)
Because I've been a little bitch and I'm just tryna make it better
I found out why my head hurts
It's cause I make excuses and expect a golden scepter
I thought I'd stay in touch with everyone without the effort
Huh, who would've thought?
If you make bad music then the whole world shuts you off (Yeah)
Man, who would've thought?
If you make bad music then the whole world shuts you off