Life ain't really, what it fuckin' seems like
I use to push through, but now it feels like
There's nothin' I can do, trapped inside my mind
Yeah, I'm stuck up in a loop
I forget who I am
To tell you the truth, I don't feel like a man
I feel like a monster, that's stuck in his head
I see no escape and I'm stuck, where I am
Damn, this is where all of it ends
I'm airin' it out, and I'm gettin' on meds
'Cause, I needed help, but the people I tell
Will tell me, be happy, it's all in my head
Do you know what it's like?
Know what it's like?
To wake up and panic, you scared for your life?
So you reach for the meds, but the meds isn't there
'Cause we took 'em away, when you said you was a'ight
Damn, now I'm trapped in a fight
Lookin' for somethin', I know I can't find
The map to be happy is so fuckin' close
I discovered the mountain, but now I can't climb, fuck!
And, that is discouragin'
But, when I get pressure, I'm flourishin'
So, maybe, I'll take all the pain
That's fightin' my brain, then bottle, and bury it
Or maybe, embrace, and encourage it
Wait, maybe, I'll baby, and nourish it
Wait, maybe, I'll make you a track
About how I'm depressed, and I bet you'll encourage it, hoo!
Why do you people think different than me?
Different than me
I need the cure, my evil is pure, don't listen to me
Don't listen to me
Sit in my room, stare at the roof, that's just sump'n I do
Sump'n I do
Will tomorrow be different?
'Cause lately, I feel like I'm stuck in a loop, hoo!
♪
Life ain't really, what it fuckin' seems like
I use to push through, but now it feels like
There's nothin' I can do, trapped inside my mind
Yeah, I'm stuck up in a loop
I forget who I am
To tell you the truth, I don't feel like a man
I feel like a dude, who's abusin' his meds
To run from the issues, he thinks that he has
Damn, this is where all of it ends
I'm standin' my ground, I ain't fallin' again
'Cause, I need some help, I'm fightin' myself
They tell me, I'm crazy, it's all in my head
What the fuck do you know, about wakin' up sad?
Makin' excuses, for shit that you say
You're stuck in a loop, and you scared to admit it
So nobody knows, that you livin' in pain
Man, it's drivin' you crazy
Drivin' you crazy
Thinkin' 'bout, what all these people would say
They say that you livin' a dream, and ain't really sad
'Cause you got a smile on yo' face
But, they don't know, 'bout all the trauma
No, they don't know, 'bout all your problems
And they don't know, 'bout all the demons
You dealin' with, dyin', when you was a toddler
Never had childhood, only had fear
Talked to the reaper, when you was a mere
Four years old, know what that did?
It gave you depression, when you was a kid, hoo!
You try to be honest, tellin' the doctor 'bout what's on your mind
What's on your mind
He said that it's puberty, give it a year, and I bet you'll be fine
I bet you'll be fine
You're twenty years old, you're feelin' the same
You've got nuttin' to lose (nuttin' to lose)
'Cause life isn't bringin' you joy, it's bringin' you pain
And you stuck in a loop, hoo!
♪
Life ain't really what it fuckin' seems like
I use to push through, but now it feels like
There's nothin' I can do
Trapped inside my mind, yeah, I'm stuck up in a loop
I forget who I am
To tell you the truth, I don't feel like a man
I feel like a loser, that's losin' his friends
I push 'em away, when I'm losin' my head
Damn, this is where all of it ends
I'm speakin' my mind, and I'm plottin' revenge
'Cause, I needed help, and people could tell
But they went and left me, to suffer, again
But, I know what it's like, when you see it
Your homies are battlin', too
And you aren't a therapist, so you pretend you don't notice
But they know, you do
And now, it's too awkward, to even be with 'em
So, you just leave 'em, right out of the blue
Now, they all thinkin' that they was the reason
But deep in your mind, you know it was you
So now, you feel guilty for shit that you said
But you got that pride, that you're bottlin' in
And you won't admit, that you're killin' your homie
You look to the side, and forget it again
But every message he sends, a beep to your phone
But you never read it, you leave it alone
Makin' him feel like he's livin' in hell
So he's burnin' himself, just to feel he's at home, hoo!
These are the times, where I like to reflect what I think of myself
I think of myself
I act like a victim in most situations, I think I need help
I think I need help
Why are you hiding your feelings from them, you got nuttin' to prove?
Nuttin' to prove
So fuck all of that, just think of a way to get out of this loop, hoo!