I took a gigantic huge really big shit
A shit so big that it's impossible to lift
A shit so big that it made the earth's plates shift
The impact so hard that it made a big rift
It was like a huge asteroid coming from space
It fell to the earth and made the ground shake
I jolted awake and saw the toilet break
I felt the tremble and knew it was an earthquake
The ground started shaking very fiercely
The bathroom floor was being damaged severely
I heard people panicking outside near me
I needed to get out of the bathroom clearly
I tried to get up but I was paralyzed
I had so many cramps in my arms and thighs
And my ass was bleeding from the shit's size
There was no way I would escape I realized
That was when I knew I was in real trouble
The floor started to strongly crack and rumble
I could hear the building starting to crumble
Before I knew it I was buried in rubble
I was on the ground after the building collapsed
I was buried under all these metal scraps
And I could feel the earth starting to crack
But I wasn't able to get out 'cause I was trapped
I could hear screaming coming from the town
I could hear all of the buildings falling down
I was almost going deaf from all the loud sounds
All while I was buried under the metal mound
Later that day I was eventually saved
The firemen rescued me from the metal grave
I was able to make it out of there unscathed
But I still feel like I did something depraved
'Cause I can't help but feel really guilty
Everything in town was destroyed because of me
Everyone else got trapped under the debris
And there were so many deaths and injuries
I ruined so many people's lives today
Tomorrow I need to talk to Dr. Gay
Having constipation is no longer okay
I need to get something to make it go away