Let me tell you 'bout all of my problems, they don't seem to go And I can't fathom conditions that are worse than my own That's not what I want, that's not what I asked for Next time I speak up, you better get it to me faster I want a world where I have full control Mild inconveniences are killing me It won't be long before they've ruined my day I'm getting no internet, don't want to get out of bed I dropped my iPhone, now there's a crack in the screen I'm a first world tragedy, it's not okay My parent's credit card got taken away There's nothing on Netflix that I haven't seen And I can't reach the remote, it's too far away from me Buffering slow, in 720p That's not full HD, this isn't funny Why can't my Smart TV just do what it's told? Mild inconveniences are killing me This Warped Tour lineup is complete garbage It wouldn't hurt to book some better bands I'm getting no internet, don't want to get out of bed I dropped my iPhone, now there's a crack in the screen I'm a first world tragedy, it's not okay My parent's credit card got taken away Got taken away They took it away It's getting way too hot Ditch the jacket I just bought Now I'm freezing my own balls off My dark blue balls It's getting way too hot Ditch the jacket I just bought Now I'm freezing my own balls off My navy-blue indigo balls I know I'm a straight white male That doesn't mean I'm not stuck in hell America is the place to be Unless you live near poverty I got mud on my shoes My brand new shoes Mud on my shoes My brand new shoes Can't find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys? Can't find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys? Can't find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys? Can't find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys? Too many voices Too many voices Too many voices Too many voices Go! I'm getting no internet, don't want to get out of bed I dropped my iPhone, now there's a crack in the screen I'm a first world tragedy, it's not okay My parent's credit card got taken away I'm a first world tragedy I'm a first world tragedy I'm a first world tragedy I'm a first world tragedy It's not ok