I breathe the air in, it's tasting of nostalgia Got this far without a happy ever after There's not a moment that'll pass without becoming a rough patch So In The End it doesn't even matter And the shiver down my back still comes in waves I remember all the shows that I used to play My spirit's telling is I'm destined for the stage Am I yearning for something that'll never enter the light of day? So I try and then I try again And if the car I'm driving breaks, then I'll catch a train I've adapted and sustained every possible way So that's why no one's even close to my lane That's why you don't want a dose of my pain You'll end up looking like you've seen a fucking ghost in your face I'm emaciated most of my days So now I'm hungry I'm devouring the prey in my way I need my 5 a day, safe So why you looking at is like I've got the answers? I'm just a person and I'm hurt, I'm not an actor I'm not a perfect example or an ordained pastor I'm just speaking on my personal disaster Why you looking at is like I've got the answers? I'm just a person and I'm hurt, I'm not an actor I'm not a perfect example or an ordained pastor I'm just speaking on my personal disaster, ya bastaaaard Disaster ya baaastaaaaaaard Ya bastaaaard Ya bastard (Lol) So this is how I process this shit I soak up all the trauma, then I throw it in the bin Because of this I barely feel attached to anything So once I'm done this song, I'll burn the fucking book I wrote it in I think my vertebrae are breaking from the weight I'm taking That's bad vibrations, the way my condition's left is shaking I never really had a foundation The ground beneath my feet just breaks away When I step out onto the pavement You all respect the wrong fucking people 'Cus on your insta feed celebrities and God are equal There's people all around you that are worthy of praise But you cannot see their face behind your phone screen You're so disconnected. You're co-dependent You're so entitled 'cus you haven't been tested When you see the side of life that leaves you close to death I guarantee you'll see the world a different way We know you're fake. Stop pretending So why you looking at is like I've got the answers? I'm just a person and I'm hurt, I'm not an actor I'm not a perfect example or an ordained pastor I'm just speaking on my personal disaster Why you looking at is like I've got the answers? I'm just a person and I'm hurt, I'm not an actor I'm not a perfect example or an ordained pastor I'm just speaking on my personal disaster, ya bastard Y-y-ya bastard Y-y-ya bastard