I've been trying to forget my past Before it catches up with me and kicks my ass The doctor says it wouldn't hurt too bad I've been feelin' like my nerves are ready to collapse And I've been trying to pick me up some French Spendin' every afternoon out on that picnic bench Spittin' loogies till the yard is drenched And then you caught me tryin' to hop over the neighbor's fence Old friend where'd you go? I thought I heard you on the radio We haven't spoken since I lost my cell phone I quit religion and my car got towed The cancer in your chest it started awful quick Now all your friends are callin' you an amputit I saw that smile sneak across your lips And I said it wasn't funny but you said it is You were into speakin' Portugese Countin' off Icky Bicky Bonkey Fightin' mulch wars underneath the Christmas trees We were barefoot in our blue jeans Old friend where'd you go? I thought I heard you on the radio We haven't spoken since I lost my cell phone I quit religion and my car got towed