Reading about Buddhism And listening to Xasthur On the subway in New York City Back when you were my home Not that long ago This life Upends me again and again Each night (each day plummets into night) Now my mind in the dark (now my mind in the dark) Brings it all roaring back (rings it all roaring back) That you could not bear (can I bear uncertainty that arrives the wind that came in through the door)- The wind that came in through the door That I can not hold you (holding you in my mind) Our devotions mismatched (Waking up surprised with no one around and wondering "who?") We could have bridged the gap But it yawned and swallowed This world of ours That's now yours and mine This life bulldozed by ridiculous sensitivities Seeing your face everywhere And there's no escape except what if we could go further in? We were each other's reward For enduring the waves ("The wages of dying is love") (Like the poem says) As long as the one last leap into the dark is wholehearted It almost was