Santa Claus has COVID And your family's stuck at home Bill Gates is feasting comfortably on your adrenochrome But Christmas won't be cancelled kids, so dry your weary tears Daddy Bezos is filling in for Santa this year Mr. Bezos could you bring me a dream? Could I get a daily bathroom break in warehouse 23? Could you tell the pesky pinkos that the union makes us weak? Bring me a dream (A dream, a dream, a dream) Mr. Bezos I've been so good the whole year Would you let me take a holiday to spread your yuletide cheer? Could we privatize the winter spirit Make the angel's wings require prime (Need prime, need prime, need prime) Rudolph is on a respirator now Frosty melted from the fever and became a puddle lying on the ground But Christmas won't be cancelled kids, so dry your weary tears Daddy Bezos is santa claus this year Mr. Bezos I've left out cookies and oil I wasn't sure what drones would eat but I thought they would enjoy A little treat before they black out all the light beneath the Star of Bethlehem Mr. Bezos Could you bring me a choir to sing a carol while my books roast On an open Kindle Fire Could you send your private army to arrest the ones who curse your sacred name (Who curse your sacred name) Rudolph is on a respirator now Frosty melted from the fever and became a puddle lying on the ground But Christmas won't be cancelled kids, so dry your weary tears Daddy Bezos is santa claus this year Mr. Bezos Have you water to spare? Now that Whole Foods is the only store the Shelves are rather bare The mauraders roam the wasteland Burning villages along their slaying ride Rudolph is on a respirator now But Christmas won't be cancelled kids, so dry your weary tears Daddy Bezos is Santa Claus Daddy Bezos is Santa Claus Daddy Bezos is Santa Claus this year