What about this guy I know
His name's David
A pretty likeable guy really
Except for one thing
He's got a big mouth
And I mean big
You see he looks after his old man's sheep
Spends days out in the wops
Well you should hear the stories he tells when he comes in
Mostly about himself
And he tells us how he's killed as these wild animals with his bare hands
'Cos there's never any witnesses
He's even got this little song that he's made up about it
Keeps annoying everybody with it
Killed a tiger with my bare hands
Killed a bear with my bare hands
Nothing to it if you've got a plan
And you're trusting in the I Am
Killed a tiger with my bare hands
Killed a bear with my bare hands
You can do it if you have a go
It's not what you know, it's who you know
You see what I mean
It's not what you know but who you know
And that's another thing about him that bothers me
He reckons he knows God
Not just knows of him
Or heard of him
But actually knows him
I mean
He's not even a nun or a priest or anything
Just a normal human being like you and me
I've tried to convince him that no one can know God just like that
No, he keeps on insisting that he talks to God
And God talks to him
And helps him with all his everyday needs, etc.
And he sings
Killed a tiger with my bare hands
Killed a bear with my bare hands
Nothing to it if you've got a plan
And you're trusting in the I Am
Killed a tiger with my bare hands
Killed a bear with my bare hands
You can do it if you have a go
It's not what you know, it's who you know
Anyway, why I've been telling you all this
Is because now he's in real strife
'Cos there's this other guy
His name's Goliath
Huge
And he's just challenged David and all his mates to do battle
And I mean, David's got some tough mates
But no one's gonna face this guy
Well, seeing how David's been boasting about himself so much
He's been forced to face this guy on his own
Reckons he volunteered
Yeah, sure
Mind you
He doesn't look scared or anything
I'll give him that much
But that's nothing to help
Now, if there's one thing I know about
It's fighting
And I'll tell you this
There's only gonna be one outcome for David in this fight
I bet he gets his face kicked in
Be his own fault too
I mean
I feel sorry for the guy
But you don't want to go around boasting about tigers and stuff
Especially about knowing God
Because one day you're gonna have to put your money where your mouth is
Now I'm just as Biblical as the next guy
And I know it says
That God helps those who don't boast or ...
... something like that
It's in there somewhere
So there it goes
We know he's gonna get it really good
Mind you
I could be wrong
Naa
Killed a tiger with my bare hands
Killed a bear with his bare hands
Killed a tiger with his bare hands
Killed a bear with his bare hands
Gonna get a beating
From the giant
Killed a tiger
Doodle-deedle-do
Doodle-do-do
Be his own fault
Do-bo
Reckons he knows God
Toot-ta-pa-pa