It's an asshole celebration
And they're all out on the street
See them on the sidewalk
Oh hear them shuffling feet
As twenty thousand assholes
Do an asshole promenade
Step aside good people
It's the assholes on parade
We got the assholes for freedom
The assholes for fun
Assholes for Jesus
And the assholes for guns
Assholes for justice
Assholes for crime
Assholes for assholes
Assholes for all time
We got assholes making money
They're making all the rules
They're taking all our jobs
And they're filling up our schools
Assholes on the water
Assholes in the sky
A sign that says "Help wanted
Only assholes need apply"
Oh teacher won't you tell me
Have i really made the grade
Am i head of my class
Or am i just another asshole on parade?
Assholes give the orders
Assholes row the boat
Assholes get elected
Cause assholes get to vote
I once heard it said
That old assholes never die
They just lay in bed
And multiply
Assholes in the morning
Assholes every night
Assholes to the left
And assholes to the right
As twenty thousand assholes
Do an asshole promenade
Step aside good people
It's the assholes on parade