Yo, I gotta turn this click-track down - this shit's too loud...
Oh, I forgot the words to the song... umm...
Dear Rudiff
The alarm went off, I let it ring
I don't even wanna get up to see this world
Don't wanna try - subject to all these thoughts of suicide
And I wanna die, but I can't 'cause I owe you my life
And that's fine, I guess it flies, so I'ma do this one more time
Feels like I'ma throw up - aye bro, what's the hold up?
Waiting on your approval, but I know that shit won't show up
Can't find the motivation to even get up out my bedroom
Looks like the sky ain't falling, but I been struggling for headroom
I'm back on medication - they don't want me going apeshit
Uh, the doctor said it's not my fault I'm trapped in palliation
But unless she wanna throw me a more permanent solution
I'ma need to find a way to sift through this dilution, bruh
Ah, I been puking lightning bolts
These pills is gold, nigga
Ah, I fucking hate this world
On the floor, lying in my own drool
And I'm just about ready to slice open
My motherfucking stomach
It hurts to feel it merge into my body
But it suppresses all the urges of this sociopathic mind
The doctor says I'm doing fine, so fine, but I'm not
I'm living in a dome inside my head - and I'm fucked
I'm not talking to my mother, I'm not talking to my pa
I stopped talking to pretty much everyone but you, man
Here's applause
I keep looking up to sky, surprised it still hangs there after all
The bullshit that we been through?
You would think that shit would fall
But it's clinging like a spider
Clings the proof of room for lighter days
I might just make it through all of this fluid
Comin' out my fucking mouth
Ah, I been puking lightning bolts
These pills is gold, nigga
Ah, I fucking hate this world
I can see the gravedigger watching over me - black-holing me
And showing me ways to take control of the creature that's inside me
But who else to confide in? You never hit me back
So this voice is like my best fucking friend
Call it counterproductive, but fuck it
These pills don't make the voices shut up
They still be talking - just at a lower level
Got me feeling all dishevelled and shit
That's a big word for someone as retarded as me
It's like a party in my body, and they kicking me out
I'm feeling naughty, but my shawty, she done peaced the fuck out
Because I stabbed her in the throat with a ballpoint pen
Shit, I need to take my pills again -Tru
Ah, I been puking lightning bolts
These pills is gold, nigga
Ah, I fucking hate this world
Ah, I been puking lightning bolts
These pills is gold, nigga
Ah, I fucking hate this world
I gotta keep taking this shit...
I can't even keep it down
How many times I gotta take the goddamn pill?
I hate everything...
(Brand new day)