All aboard, I heard the call The next stretch, the longest haul You know I must have been insane To take a ride upon that train It's pickin' up and goin' faster To a crossing with disaster And there's trouble up ahead At a hairpin turn I dread Don't know how I ever let them Talk me into this Crashin' through those redlights Something is amiss Took a little ride that I thought would entertain But now I am a first class passenger of pain But that's O.K. I won't quit Though I know it's bound to hurt a bit We're late again but what should I care I'm on a train, a train to nowhere I'd hop on off of this here train if I had the chance There's gotta be an easier way to travel But all this locomotion has got me in a trance My poor brain is starting to unravel So feed the fire, stoke the coal Lord have mercy on my soul Ain't no conductor, this train's a mess On a fast non-stop express But hop on board if you must I'm sure that soon you will adjust We're late again, but what should I care I'm on a train, a train to nowhere I'd hop on off of this here train if I had the chance There's gotta be an easier way to travel But all this locomotion has got me in a trance My poor brain is starting to unravel So feed the fire, stoke the coal Lord have mercy on my soul Ain't no conductor, this train's a mess On a fast non-stop express But hop on board if you must I'm sure that soon you will adjust We're late again, but what should I care I'm on a train, a train to nowhere I'm on a train, a train to nowhere I'm on a train, a train to nowhere