You can never see it Or keep it in a jar You cannot escape it Not even in your car It is not a mineral Animal or plant You will never find it Don't try because you can't Make it so it hurts your face Then touch it Spank it till it stinks And touch it baby Its weight doesn't matter Neither does its size If you look into it It burns out your eyes Do not breathe around it Sniffle, sneeze or cough If you were to touch it Your skin would sizzle off Make it so it hurts your face Then touch it Spank it till it stinks Touch it baby It's the Mighty Penis Laser The cause for every scream It is better than anything you've got Cause it's made out of a laser beam Bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum Bum bum bum Bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum Bum bum bum Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum Bum-bum bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum Bum bum bum Now is when the horror will be truly felt And the sick smell of death will soon be smelt It is a laser beam It will never be seen And its shit is far more flammable than gasoline Make it so it hurts your face, and touch it Spank it 'til it stinks Touch it baby It is incapable of reasoning This is the part where we sing Da da, dadada da Da da da da daaaa Da daaaaaa Da da da Ooooaaa It's the Mighty Penis Laser The cause for every scream It is better then anything you've got Cause it's made out of a laser beam Bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum Bum bum bum Bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum Bum bum bum Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum Bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum Bum bum bum Da da, dadada da Da da da da daaaa Da daaaaaaa ♪ Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser Mighty Penis Laser