I look at my family gathered round They're laying softly on the ground My kids are asleep and so is my wife I feel so lucky that this is my life During the day we graze and roam We might live in a barn, but hey it's home We share with two donkeys and sau Oh it's a great day to be a cow Woah ho ho, I love being a cow Nothing is better than here and now I live with three horses, a traveling lamb Here in our humble little barn, in Bethlehem There's a noise at the door, and in walks Tim He's the inkeeper of the inn He lets in a woman and a man This wasn't part of my day's plan They push my kids' out of the way, And she lays down upon my hay Hey that isn't cool, that's where I sleep I paid for that hay, it wasn't cheap Woah, ho ho is that a head? She's giving birth all up in my bed Comes into my barn and makes a mess I go to work in the morning, I don't need distress Oh come on! That's where I eat! She's having a baby where I eat Oh oh, now there's three dudes coming in as well Oh why don't you join the damn party It's only my house Woah ho ho, I love being a cow Where is my family mean to sleep now? Today looked so good, you just had to spoil it You treated my kitchen like a public toilet Woah ho ho, It sucks being a cow I work in a field, pulling a plow Then at night, in comes a pregnant stranger And gets placenta all in my manger Woah ho ho, screw being a cow! It sucks being a cow! Stop being a cow! Why am I a cow?! This sucks! TIM! Stop letting people in, I don't want a drummer boy here! Don't you dare fade down the music I have a 4 minute track I haven't even done the rap yet Don't, MOO! MOO! MOO!