Hither, my friend Come, take a seat I've uncovered a lot in just one week Before you dismiss it and disagree Won't you entertain my POV? Nostradamus was dyslexic Yes, he got the numbers wrong Dribbling wine all on his manuscript called "2021" I have never once neglected to load up my theory gun And fire at will on everyone I'm history's favorite son Do you ever think we're on TV? They heighten our stakes in time for sweeps As locusts devour the Middle East We execute actors in the streets Nostradamus had a bum foot That he dragged all over town More failed poet than occultist A crippled birthday party clown I will never stop my research Lest they need me in D.C. 'Cause I'm the chosen one I'm history's favorite In the witching hour Just a hair past 3 AM I outstretch an arm and fumble for the nightstand Where one man grabs a Bible I reach for my trusty phone And ask it kindly to confirm there's no such thing as the unknown Nostradamus was dyslexic Yes, he got the numbers wrong Dribbling wine all on his manuscript called "2021" I have never once neglected to load up my theory gun And fire at will on everyone I'm history's favorite son