Epic rap battles of history
Julius Caesar!
Versus!
Shaka Zulu!
Begin!
Iwisa, meet Caesar, he's a commander
Who thinks he can dance with Conan of the Savannah
But when I go hand to hand with you, I go hammer
Knock off his dome, wrap it up in his own banner
Send it back to Rome with a message from the Zulu
If you battle Shaka, this will happen to you
If you cross that equator, you'll head straight into a massacre
And get fucked by more than just Cleopatra in Africa
You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper
I heard you had poison spit, where was it in this cipher?
'Cause all I hear is threats from a brute with no discipline
And I'm ruling over you like a boot full of my citizens
And you should take your cow skin shield and hide under it
You're fucking with the most triumphant third of the triumvirate
I'm first of the Empire and the last of the Republicans
And hunting you, accompanied by legions of my countrymen
Ask my kidnappers, if I'm just a shit talker
Doc J dunk on you like, Boom Shakalaka!
So don't go rattling your sticks at me
If I wanted to shake spears, I'd waggle my biography
Right I've heard of your play, tell me how does it end?
Oh yes, you get stabbed many times by your friends
So, whatcha gonna do with your Roman swords?
When the lines of your legions get gored by the horns
Of the Zulu, warriors! Trained on thorns
To dismember any emperor's pasty white hordes
I got the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah
And everyone knows you're just a chicken, Caesar
Oooh can I be a hyena? 'Cause I'm going to laugh
I'll pave roads with the bones of your goat-herding ass
First my front lines will drop back and spank you in the chest
Then I'll decimate your horns, you can't outflank the best
Let your reserves come at me, my ballista's cocked and (Ready!)
When I take (Aim!), I always keep my whole crew (Steady!)
Because there's no use in murdering you and your heathen
You can grow my wheat for me, after you're beaten
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic rap!
Rap! Hooroo!
Battle! Battle! Battle!
Of history!