Hi, my name is Stuart Would you be my friend? Then we could be best pals Until the bitter end Would you protect me from those guys that kick my ass? Every other day in front of my 8: 30 class Hi, my name is Stuart Would you be my pal? Maybe I could up With a special gal And we could make out in the back seat of my car If I played my cards right, we could go real far Then I'd have a friend now 'Cause now I have none We could hang out in the museum It would be so much fun Would you hang with me? We could drink a beer! But we'd have to drink it fast 'cause my parents are here... Hi, our names our Stuart We are your comrads We shall band together So we can kick some ass Nerds of America, we must unite! And together we will win this fight!