Well the cat is a coward
With a name like Howard
Well he lives in the strip
Strip mall slum
Peruses garbage at the target
Fishbones behind walmart
Well he's scared of the mice and Donald Trump
Wild Hogs in the red states
Where they're tearing up the landscape
Well the lion once a mall rat
He can't compete
Well he takes to shadow boxing
For fear of all the toxins
That end up flooding out the street
♪
A feline beast has no place
Amidst soybeans and corn
Can't eat raw meat of feedlot beef
For fear of all them new bacterial forms
♪
Once there was a jungle
Trees from coast to coast
Now his stomach rumbles
No prairie grass for making toast
Well a cat's got a right to be afraid
What with all these medications, oh man
And the loss of Medicare
Well the catman is a coward
With a name like Howard
King of the beasts
Can't hack the grind
He can't go back to the circus
Cause he feels too nervous
Maybe that wizard will
Give him peace of mind