Mr. Bell's Invention almost got me killed last night But why blame a long gone dead man cus my life ain't right The one I'm fooling 'round with plumb forgot my wife was home So here's the way I alibied when I beat her to the phone Hello Bill, Is that you Bill? How are you doing Bill No, Bill, Wish I could Bill, Not tonight Though my wife stood back there Listening I could see she wasn't thrilled When I turned to her with innocent Eyes and said, "Honey, that was Bill" Hello Bill means that I love you, Dear with all my heart Is that you Bill means that I'm sorry that we're so far apart How are you doing means that tomorrow we can be alone Anything I say after No, Bill, means my wife's on the other phone Hello Bill, Is that you Bill? How are you doing Bill No, Bill, Wish I could Bill, Not tonight Though my wife stood back there Listening I could see she wasn't thrilled When I turned to her with innocent Eyes and said, "Honey, that was Bill"