Ahhhh... The Lord is a monkey Thanksgiving's coming on the Fourth of July In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye Well she come from out west on a nickel worth of gas Got her mind on her money and her dope up her ass Outside of Phoenix she was kinda broke down Burned a cracker-boy rig and she was out of that town. Ha Ha Ha! Ahhhhh... Well she was a Hare Krishna in the Ashram Bed She was sellin' 'get sky' and had funky-ass hair She pooed in my mouth and she threw me on the bed Where she cut off my balls and she sewed them to my head Well she's heading back East in a 67 Caddy Got her mind on her money and a dope for her daddy Well I met her on the street where she beat me like a fool Then she got me accepted to an ivy league school Well I real did good but it's kickin' my ass I lost 38 pounds and my eye turned to glass Well she's looking pretty good first week in July She's got her dope up her ass and a needle in her eye Ahhhhh... Thanksgivings coming on the Fourth of July In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye Well she come from out west on a nickel worth of gas Got her mind on her money and her dope up her ass