Hair by mail, tit jobs for teens Go broke appearing rich Searching for rosebud in the fire Pop stars fingers in the fans The therapist you wish you had Crucifix or lubricant Government by fad! Mate! Spawn! And Die! My, my, my, my Mate! Spawn! And Die! My, my, my, my ♪ Are those salmon upstream turning red From shear embarassment Came all this way up all them ladders Without checking a map! Oh! Oh May the Farce be with you! ♪ In one corner of the ring That cherished myth Falling in love magically solves Every problem you've ever had In the other corner Spoon size shredded dreams The Gods must be lazy The movie goers must be crazy Mate! Spawn! And Die! My, my, my, my Mate! Spawn! And Die! Why?! Wrong worm, hooked again Mounted on the wall in my own den I'll talk alone to a firefly Dial 1-900-Suck-Me-Dry You can't throw me to the lions I'm Charlton Heston! You can't throw me to the lions I'm Charlton Heston! ♪ M-m-mate! Spawn! And Die! My, my, my, my Mate! Spawn! And Die! Yippie Ti-Yi-Yi-Yo Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho What do you really want for Christmas, children? Nice place ya got here, darlin' Sure wish the hot water worked Gotta rinse my jizz off before mornin' Or I'll itch for a week! Damn! that water's cold Agh! Ugh! Steven Tyler Of all people once said "If men bled Would tampons be free?" Omi'god, I gotta get goin' Now? I forgot to feed the cat!