Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal
My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light
And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal
Semi-Spanish gown
I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight!
I should be dancing the Tarentella
Qui mon fella Italiano
Not dressed in hospital cotton
With an owchie . . . front bottom
And this
Miracle!
Horrible
Miracle!
Smelly little
The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen!
I can't find his frank 'n' beans!
Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely
My mummy says I'm a miracle
The chances of existence almost infinitely small
My daddy says I'm his special little guy
The most common thing in life is life –
Hup, two, four, free!
And yet, every single life
Every new life
Is a miracle!
Miracle!
Miracle!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical
But it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . .
My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm
My daddy says I'm a bore
My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ
That kids like me should be against the law
My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole
No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me
Mum says I'm a good case for population control
Dad says I should watch more TV