You can stop smokin', but you're still gonna die
You might think I'm jokin', but you're still gonna die
Don't eat anything fatty or fried
And you'll get real healthy, but you're still gonna die
You can drink less booze, but you're still gonna die
All the weight you lose, but you're still gonna die
Cut out coffee and never get high
But you're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
You can even give aerobics one more try
But when the music stops playin', you're still gonna die
Slow down in your car, but you're still gonna die
Cut nicotine tar, but you're still gonna die
Lose that cellulite off your thigh
Get slimmer and trimmer, but you're still gonna die
Stop gettin' a tan, but you're still gonna die
Eat lots of oat bran, but you're still gonna die
Look for spaceships up in the sky
They might fly you to Mars, where you're still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
And all the Reeboks and the Nikes and the Adidas you buy
You can jog up to heaven, but you're still gonna die
Put a gym in the cellar, but you're still gonna die
Try high colonics, but you're still gonna die
Get yourself frozen and suspended in time
When they thaw you out, you're still gonna die
You can have safe sex, but you're still gonna die
You can switch to Crest, but you're still gonna die
Move to Scotland where it's sunny and dry
And you'll live to be a hundred, but you're still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
So you better have some fun before you say bye-bye
'Cause you're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die
So you better have some fun before you say bye-bye
'Cause you're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die