I don't care for city life Moved to town just to please my wife Ain't allowed to whittle with my pocket knife I want to go back to the farm. Can't wear overalls no more City carpets all over the floor Miss the boys from the general store I want to go back to the farm. Sure miss fishin' in old mud creek Neighbors ain't friendly, they won't speak Gotta take a bath at least once a week Never had to do that on the farm. My what I do to please the spouse I was a man now I feel like a mouse Bathroom built right inside the house Ain't like it was on the farm. Fancy restaurants, neon light Women walkin' 'round in tights I even miss the chigger bites I used to get on the farm. Suppose to be a life of ease Well, guess I'm just a little hard to please Momma don't fix them black-eyed peas Like she done back on the farm. My that wife of mine is a sight Wears that girdle to darned tight Gonna learn to play bridge tonight Hm, sure weren't like that on the farm. Don't get milk from cows no more Comes in a bottle right to the door You know I ain't had a saddle sore Since I left my home on the farm. I'm a little older but a whole lot wiser My widfe calls me a cheap old miser Miss that smell of fertilizer That we had back on the farm. She just jabbers on the phone Talkin' about puttin' the neighbors on She's gonna find herself alone 'Cause I'm headin' back to the farm...