How did we get ourselves into this situation Bitterly divided over wheel orientation You look like you stepped into glue And then stepped on some toddler's skateboards But at least you're not a toddler 'Cause they annoy me a lot more And you look like a rejected extra From that movie Battlefield Earth But at least you're not a Scientologist 'Cause man, they are the worst Yeah Sure there are some differences between you and me You're not as cool as me But we share something that makes us unique We got wheels That makes us better Why judge each other When we can judge everybody else together? We got wheels That's how we roll And everyone else Is a butthole People without wheels are buttholes We shouldn't waste our lives Living as roller discriminators When I think we can both agree That we absolutely hate ice skaters Look at them with their frilly clothes And their skates that will not roll We should herd them into ice skating camps And never let them go Sure, compared to me you are inferior But compared to the rest of the world we are superior We got wheels That makes us better Why judge each other When we can judge everybody else together? We got wheels That's how we roll And everyone else Is a butthole People without wheels are buttholes People without wheels are buttholes