12 PM, still asleep The Price is Right is on downstairs Forgot to call my girlfriend Missed lunch with my parents There's throw up in my bed from I don't know where I'm never drinking tequila again I drank whiskey like water Now water like whiskey The bottle, it missed me My eyes are bleary My hands are shaking My hands are shaking You only like me when I'm drunk You only like me when you're drunk You only like me when I've been drinking And you hate my sad songs Yeah, you hate my sadder songs "Can you write me a love song? They're better for dancing" I drank whiskey like water Now water like whiskey The bottle, it missed me My eyes are bleary My hands are shaking My hands are shaking Who did I text last night? How did I get this black eye? How did I wake up on the carpet? Why is there a half a Doritos Locos Taco in my pocket? Dude, seriously where's my car? I think that I lowered the bar I think that I lowered the bar