I drove my Sarsen up your entry last night
I kicked door in at the break of midnight
I've got the feeling, that your avoiding me
And when I come to catch you, you'll run for your tea.
I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots.
I've got a pretty new flak jack, a lovely khaki suit.
When we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hand,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.
My good friend Bertie, he's in the UDR.
To search for weapons he will go near and far.
Up around by Kappa, you'd never find him there.
The only gun he'll get there is an Armalite in his ear!
I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots.
I've got a pretty new flak jack, a lovely khaki suit.
When we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hand,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.
My good friend Trevor, he's in the RUC.
But now they've handed him his redundancy.
Folks along the border won't be seeing him any more,
That provo sniper will be missing him for sure!
I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots.
I've got a pretty new flak jack, a lovely khaki suit.
When we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hand,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.
My good friend Nigel, he's in the SAS.
He said a change is just as good as arrest.
Now they've gone and posted him way down to Crossmaglen,
He wished to blazes, he was back in jail again!
I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots.
I've got a pretty new flak jack, a lovely khaki suit.
When we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hand,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.
I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots.
I've got a pretty new flak jack, a lovely khaki suit.
When we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hand,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.
My good friend Sammy, he's in the DUP.
An upstanding member, as all the world can see.
I said, "Go up to Donegal, if you want to have some fun."
He said, "I'll take a run there, if I have nothing on."
I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots.
I've got a pretty new flak jack, a lovely khaki suit.
When we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hand,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.
My good friend Johnny, he's left the UDA
He said it'll fair the LDF any day.
Calling all his friends, "Get ready for a fight."
He's made an appointment to meet Billy Wright.
I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots.
I've got a pretty new flak jack, a lovely khaki suit.
When we go on night patrol, we hold each other's hand,
We are the British Army and we're here to take your land.