My name is Hagrid and I have to say This Hogwarts school is not okay There are too many stairs What's the deal? Why can't I get a teleporting meal? You call it a school? But it's not that cool I'm to blame But what can you do Your school is based whos a good boy Let's see who's dumbledores favourite toy You're the boy who lived What a shame Your parents are dead and you're to blame You came to this school to have a good time But you're just committing a terrible crime Hello Hermione you think you're so smart But yeah Hmm Where should I start? Your hair looks like its covered in flees But sadly it's not as pretty as me Teacher's pet Never by yourself Dumbledore thought you were a house-elf Oh hey it's Ron... Oh yeah the boy everyone forgot Ooh Roasted by the hagrid Hagrid He's the best Puts the students to their rest Then he's gonna eat their souls Cause he sold his soul for rock and roll There's a snake in the bathroom That's my meal And a troll in the dungeon? No big deal Children die and turn to stone While I'm at my cabin smoking some bone Maybe explain yourself Dumbledoor Nope You're too busy pissing on the floor You're an old man I can understand But leaving a baby alone is kinda bad plan Snape the incel What a jerk. You're a bully who shouldn't work Stop chasing a woman who's dead Even so She still won't give you head Voldemort? Don't make me laugh! You're just as pathetic as your emo staff Make a big deal about creating tragedies But you've never eaten children in front of their families HAHA LOSER You're listening to the hagrid bonus track No, you cant have your money back!