Beneath the earth, a meeting of a shadowy cabal
A group of individuals with the world in their thrall
Wondering what the purpose of the meeting is this week
When a high-intelligence scientist steps forth and starts to speak
"There's a potential problem brewing with which we have to deal
A young fellow named Dolph, who's on the rise, you feel
With a chemical-engineering masters and a third dan black-belt too
We've got to get him out the lab before he becomes Doctor Doom
Now if I may suggest something perhaps off our beaten track
Perhaps a career in Hollywood would get him off our back?"
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation
The plan's going splendid but I'm still ill at ease, yo
So it's been decided he's just got to go
I'm worried that we will soon see the turn
When he starts to view the rest of us as insignificant worms
He's too big and far too strong and smart to plainly kill
I don't think that any of our agents have the required skills
I don't care how it's done as long as it's not suspect
Perhaps he could have an "accident" on set
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation
It appears that Lundgren's always known
As the one we killed was just a decoy clone
It seems as if he's been preparing all this time
Waiting for the moment that we stepped out of line
Building an army of repurposed action heroes
It seems we were correct to possess the fear, yo
Now he's disappeared to an island in the sea
Previously unknown to anyone but he
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation
"Startling scenes today as the secluded island
Where Lundgren had been hiding rose from the ocean, revealing
Itself to be an... air... warship(?). A representative of the United
Nations had this to say:"
"Well... fuck."
As the island rises from the sea
Revealing itself to be a war machine
The world watches in disbelief
Now towered over by Dolph's elite
And so my father stood before you many years before
Just another victim of an increasingly futile war
He fell with many others to the manic-eyed Cage
And committed suicide in a hypnosis-induced rage
There'll be many more casualties before this is brought to an end
I saw Jean Claude Van-Damme kick in half a friend
Unfortunately it appears that this is our own fault
It's time we became one world under Dolph
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation
Operation: Keep Him Busy
Operation