Have you ever french-kissed in public?
Have you ever played a drinking game?
Been convicted of a crime or done 69?
Have you ever smoked crack cocaine?
Are you a depraved low-life sinner?
Or a timid little wide-eyed saint?
Are you mortified, hon', by the stuff you've done
Or ashamed of how much you ain't?
Have you ever used methamphetamines?
Have you kissed below the belt?
Had sex in a pool or been kicked out of school?
Had your breast or butt-cheeks felt?
Are you mommy's little goody two-shoes
Or a psycho slut from hell?
Cause the lower the score, well, the bigger the whore
But only the test can tell
Come on, sugar pie, won't you give it a try?
'Cause only the test can tell
Yee-haw!