If you're a pirate I don't believe it I don't believe that you are capable of such deeds If you're a pirate let's see your wallet And we will see if you are licensed for the seas Are you capable of swinging from the riggings of a ship Or wearing a black do-rag when it really ain't that hip I don't think so, I don't think so, at all So where's your eye patch Where's your peg leg If you're a pirate Where's your gun Where's your booty Your sassy parrot I can't picture you on a bottle of cheap rum 'Cause You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world 'Cause you're a girl So all you females just put your swords down I'm not a fool and I'm not amused You've got no hand, no secret island And pirates never go to the bathroom in twos So if this isn't some sort of cheap prank Then tell me who exactly walks your plank Not me, not me No, nay, never, not me So where's your eye patch Where's your peg leg If you're a pirate Where's your gun Where's your booty Your sassy parrot I can't picture you on a bottle of cheap rum 'Cause You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world 'Cause you're a girl A pirate vessel is not a bedroom No walk-in closet, there's no bidet There's no pink loofah hanging in the shower and Pirates don't worry about what shoes they wear today Because everyone knows that pirates just wear black They raise a flag of skull and bones when they attack Not birds and flowers, not birds and flowers, no way! So where's your eye patch Where's your peg leg If you're a pirate Where the hell is your gun Where's your booty Your sassy parrot By sassy parrot I don't mean your bitchy friend 'Cause You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world 'Cause you're a girl So where's your eye patch Where's your peg leg If you're a pirate Where's your gun Where's your booty Your sassy parrot I can't picture you on a bottle of cheap rum 'Cause You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world You're the worst pirate, The worst pirate in the world 'Cause you're a pirate girl