Some friends and I in a public house, playing dominoes one night
When into the bar, the barman came, His face all chalky white
What's up?, says Brown Have you seen a ghost?
Have you seen me Aunt Moriah?
Oh, your Aunt Moriah be-jesus, says he, The bloody pubs on fire
A fire? says Brown, What a bit of luck
Everybody follow me, It's down to the cellar if the fire' ain't there
So, we'll have a grand old spree So we all went down with good old Brown
For there the booze was free, and we hadn't been 5 minutes there
Till we were drunk and disorderly
And there was Brown, upside down
Lapping up the whiskey from the floor
Booze, booze the firemen cried
As they come a knockin' at the door
Well don't let em in till it's all lapped up
Somebody shouted, MacIntyre
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire
Tilady went down to the port wine tub gave it just a few hard knocks
She started taking off her pantaloons, Likewise her shoes and socks
Hold up says Brown, no you can't' do that. No, You can't do that down here
Oh, you can't wash yer trotters in the port wine tub
When there's plenty of stale beer
And there was Brown, upside down
Lapping up the whiskey from the floor
Booze, booze the firemen cried
As they come a knockin' at the door
Well don't let em in till it's all lapped up
Somebody shouted, MacIntyre
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire
Just then there came from the old back door, The vicar of the local church
And when he saw our drunken ways, He began to scream and curse
Oh, you drunken sods, you heathen clods You've taken to a drunken spree
You've drunken the Benedictine wine, and you didn't save a drop for me!
And there was Brown, upside down
Lapping up the whiskey from the floor
Booze, booze the firemen cried
As they come a knockin' at the door
Well don't let em in till it's all lapped up
Somebody shouted, MacIntyre
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire
Just then there came an awful crash, Half the bloody roof gave way,
We were almost drowned by the fireman's hose, oh we was feeling gay!
So up went the blocks and the old tin tacs, and we locked ourselves inside
And we sat there drinking pints of beer, Till we were bleary eye'd
And there was Brown, upside down
Lapping up the whiskey from the floor
Booze, booze the firemen cried
As they come a knockin' at the door
Well don't let em in till it's all lapped up
Somebody shouted, MacIntyre
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire
Well Later that night, when the fire was out, Came up from the cellar below
Our pub was burned. Our booze was drunk. Us heads was hanging low
Thank Christ! says Brown with a look quite Clear
Seems something raised his ire
Now we gotta get down to Murphys Bar; it closes in an hour!
And there was Brown, upside down
Lapping up the whiskey from the floor
Booze, booze the firemen cried
As they come a knockin' at the door
Well don't let em in till it's all lapped up
Somebody shouted, MacIntyre
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire