The first was the Cape of Good Hope Closed by law and special decree So that the Pacific waves would quit Bastardizing that other sea. Next it was the turn of Panama and Suez, And then of the Bosporus and Gibraltar: Every last wave demanded Respect for its sovereign independence. No more exchanges of water and fish, No more round-the-world trips in sailing ships All canals were closed To the passage of foreign waves. Thus for a time the waters of all The planet's seas became calm again, But before long it began again: a wave said That it was time to end it all. And so it happened that one day in our local sea The Ionian demanded to be alone, And so did the Tyrrhenian and the Sicilian Strait And the Adriatic forthwith. In short, 'let no one mix with anyone else' Thundered the waters of the shallows; 'Let each remain anchored in place And bathe only the sands of her birth.' It seemed to be over but it was only the beginning, And it was truly ugly to see In what once was a vast expanse The gashes of trenches rending the sea. It was only the beginning, as we said, Because now the secessionist fever Was sickening every single shore, And nothing and no one managed to say 'enough'. And thus from Trieste to the tip of Apulia From Sicily to the Italian Riviera Every last tiny creek demanded Independence and not in name only. But the matter went shabby When they seized each other drop by drop And, each eyeing her neighbor, said 'Go away or I'll break your face'. The sea was soon an assemblage of dewdrops Of no use to fish or any creature. Tuna, anchovies, and swordfish died, Deep-sea vessels stayed on dry land. And then one day or (I'm not sure) one night Something even stranger happened Do you know the formula H2O? Yes, the one for water that we all know. Well, hydrogen took exception And claimed to have a majority And thus the sovereign right To pursue now-hallowed independence. A kind of wind blew, an infinite gust, And the water of the seas vaporized into the sky. There remained a desert of salt and granite, But dark and deep, blacker than black.