Cultivated mystique is kinda alright especially if you're a boy
And no one knows you've got three balls
Being split into a shamrock by a thong,
Grandma Jimmy has a funny har har sense of humour
Which she uses to embarrass her son in laws on their birthdays
- She wishes them to be body builders that body board in speedos...
She likes to take them to Devon for a picnic,
Bringing Tin foiled wrapped tuna white bagel sandwiches
Dripping in anchor butter which had gotten gloopy
Because she almost, because she almost,
Because the almost dead smelling dog's warm belly
Had passed out on her husband's bought basket
(Who is now dead)
In the boot of the car...
The dog was feeling car sick and so was everybody else
Except for Jimmy of course because she was driving...
Her driving was awful!!
Granny J slowed down every time she spoke
Which pissed everybody off,
Although they loved her she was very very annoying
She just spoke about things she had already said
Like to the point where everyone concerning her slade by fate
Could smell the off yogurt from the fridge
Wafting into the living room!
When they got to the beach,
Jack the youngest felt depressed
Because he hated pebbly beaches and was expecting a sandy one
After the shock of his realisation
He couldn't resist himself and said out loud
'Fuck I wanna get back to London... like now'
Jimmy snapped back
'You ugly fat brat you may leave after I have photographed you'