I promised to keep the kids busy at the park for at least two hours So that Sarah could get the house in order and all the laundry sorted out I told her that the party was her idea so she could damn well clean it up herself I didn't mean to snap but since mom died last week I haven't felt like myself I only just turned forty-two and all I think about now is my health I know I've gained some weight but Sarah's so nice, she claims she can't even tell Two nights this week I dreamed that my teeth crumbled when I tried to eat When I wake up my gums feel weak I make the kids brush their teeth 'til their mouths bleed I feel ambushed by my body... or at least a little misled (As if the blood that moves my parts can't keep up with commands Coming from my head) I'm sitting on a park bench, watching Zooey climb to the top of the slide Where she'll cry until I come and get her Sarah says she does it for attention but I think she knows better There's a girl with these legs running laps on the track I watch the muscles sing in her thighs When I turn back to Zooey I'm confronted by the eyes of this young mother helping her down She greets my approach with a full-body frown "Maybe you should keep your eyes on your own child," she sniffs I pretend not to hear while I oversearch for Chris I get him and bolt down the street to the pharmacy Chris screamin' bloody murder 'cause we had to leave I get my pills refilled so I'll be good for the party Pop one on the walk home 'cause I feel the panic starting I keep saying that I'm sorry I tell the children I'm sorry