There's a cloud hanging over me
What's in my head
I can't see
X2
It seems I'm captive in a carnival
The main attraction
People stand in line for hours, stoked
They pay to laugh
And see me sabotage my charted goal to escape this trap
While reading transcripts of my horoscopes
Then it fades to black
Repeat the pattern till my heart of gold
Is stained and cracked
Decreased in value
If I pawned it whole
Would I make it back?
The things that matter seem so hard to hold, so I'll face the facts
And leave this planet how I found it
Lone
And embrace the casket
Feel so damaged, that I can hardly cope in a savage world, where the scars reopen at random
If you don't wanna choke, put a bandage over your parted throat
I'm man that's on his own and I can't get over these obstacles
And it adds a sting that the common folks are this adamant to think god's a hoax
And I'm outta hope
Though I'm strong I don't wanna live with the strain
No positive notes, no prospect glowing to give me the strength
I simply revisit the day that misery came
And, I wait for the light at the end of the tunnel, until it hits me
That it was a train
I can feel my blood circulate the whole of my body
Cause there's holes in my body, like a blow from a shotty
I'm assuming it probably, cause the hospitals got me
I get up off the gurney and I am certainly wobbly
But it doesn't concern me that I am fervently nauseous
I'm not overly cautious, I just don't know what caused it
So I'm talking to doctors, asking where is my family
Or who was it that brought me, or who was it that shot me
Cause I'm hurt pretty badly, but my memory's shoddy
And nobody will help me, so I'm wobbling oddly
To the front of the lobby so maybe someone will spot me
But my face is in pieces maybe they don't recognize me
Now I'm just realizing, as I open my pocket
That my phone is inside it, so I'm frantically dialing
Trying to call my fiancé, maybe she's trying to find me
But I hear ringing behind me, and it strikes me as odd
I turn around as she walks up to finish the job
I'm wishing for death
The world is a weight upon my neck. Oh, oh. oh
I'm wishing for death
If today's like tomorrow, let this end