Outta all the good gifts ever got Inevitably lost I imagine stretched along A constellation Inhabiting a cosmos of Closet bottoms, all Your misplaced affections Ain't ever lost upon me You know it's Christmas in Columbus Won't be the same without ya, though You know it's Christmas in Columbus Won't be the same without you, though Tell me what you really want, love Tell me what you really need I know I owe you somethin' good, no I know I owe ya somethin' sweet Well plastic baby Jesuses Line the lawns of the righteous kids But as for you, among your friends: "Who says Jesús is who he says he is?" And the ghost of Christmas past is gone And all we get are these old songs And I will cherish every note Rattling its way outta your old throat Christmas in Columbus Won't be the same without you, though You know it's Christmas in Columbus Won't be the same without ya, though You know, Christmas in Columbus Won't be the same without you, though You know it's Christmas in Columbus Won't be the same without you, though