Tim was sitting in a train Right in front of a nun What was in her flask of rum? As she slept he stole the bottle He tasted it, but t'was yucky When she woke up, he asked her "What the Hell you drinkin' O'Granny"? "I ain't' drinking: I'm spitting!" It's as dirty as it gets Just Take it or leave it Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka It's as dirty as it gets Just Take it or leave it Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka One riddle, and good advice What's more awful my friend Than a baby in a trash bin? Well one baby in two bins! If you drunk and have to puke Shove a finger in your throat And another up your ass You can always switch them round It's as dirty as it gets Just Take it or leave it Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka It's as dirty as it gets Just Take it or leave it Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka If you're shocked, if you're bored If you find my song too nasty If you can't take no more Well the real world ain't better! Watch a bullfight, go to Rwanda Look for Human Rights in China In the shoes of Daniel Pelka It's a sweeter mazurka It's as dirty as it gets Just Take it or leave it Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka It's as dirty as it gets Just Take it or leave it Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka Just the way that I like My Dirty Mazurka