The worst thing in the world
Is finding blood on your toilet paper
The worst thing in the world
Is getting a hard-on when you're round your Nan's
This must be the worst thing in the world
As bad as crashing out round your best mate's house
Then waking up with him sucking your cock
The worst thing in the world
Is finding out you're related to Ian Huntley
The worst thing in the world
Is catching your cock in your zip
This must be the worst thing in the world
As bad as falling asleep during 'Match of the Day'
Or going for a swim in Barrymore's pool
This must be the worst thing in the world
As bad as trying to explain in casualty
How a banana in a johnny got stuck up your arse
This must be the worst thing in the world
As bad as going down on Lisa Riley
Or walking in on Jay Cox rooting your Mum