Now, we all heard what Ian Watkins did
It sent my mate Paul in a rage
See, he'd just had a baby himself
So he went on Ian's Facebook page
He left a message, saying "You are sick and twisted and I hope you die!"
But when I saw it on there, I commented, "LOL!"
And here's the reason why
I said
You've got the wrong Ian Watkins, mate
It's that what made me smile
You've just called the bloke from Steps a twisted paedophile
He shares a name and was in a band
Similarity ends there
He'd never fuck a baby
Just ask Lee, Lisa, Faye and Claire
My mate Paul was so embarrassed
He went online to apologise
But when I saw what he had done
I couldn't believe my eyes
He got them mixed up again
"ROFL!"
So I said
You've got the wrong Ian Watkins, mate
It's that what's made me smile
You've just said you're sorry to a twisted paedophile
You've got the wrong Ian Watkins, mate
It must be hard to take
You've just apologised to H's kid-fiddling namesake
And then I thought to myself
What if the Old Bill got confused just like my mate Paul
By two pop stars that shared a name
Maybe I should give them a call and say, "PMSL!"
Have you got the right Ian Watkins there?
Have you considered maybe?
What if it was H from Steps that tried to rape that baby?
And they'd say
We've got the right Ian Watkins, mate
Your song is a disgrace
See, H has never taken meth
Or pissed on a school girl's face