Now, we all heard what Ian Watkins did It sent my mate Paul in a rage See, he'd just had a baby himself So he went on Ian's Facebook page He left a message, saying "You are sick and twisted and I hope you die!" But when I saw it on there, I commented, "LOL!" And here's the reason why I said You've got the wrong Ian Watkins, mate It's that what made me smile You've just called the bloke from Steps a twisted paedophile He shares a name and was in a band Similarity ends there He'd never fuck a baby Just ask Lee, Lisa, Faye and Claire My mate Paul was so embarrassed He went online to apologise But when I saw what he had done I couldn't believe my eyes He got them mixed up again "ROFL!" So I said You've got the wrong Ian Watkins, mate It's that what's made me smile You've just said you're sorry to a twisted paedophile You've got the wrong Ian Watkins, mate It must be hard to take You've just apologised to H's kid-fiddling namesake And then I thought to myself What if the Old Bill got confused just like my mate Paul By two pop stars that shared a name Maybe I should give them a call and say, "PMSL!" Have you got the right Ian Watkins there? Have you considered maybe? What if it was H from Steps that tried to rape that baby? And they'd say We've got the right Ian Watkins, mate Your song is a disgrace See, H has never taken meth Or pissed on a school girl's face