When he was a young man His mother set him free She said there's lots of monsters among us That prey on you and me Well he had never told her But he'd seen these monsters too So he looked her in the eyes And said "I know this to be true" He had barely left town When he stumbled on a fool His words they were so boisterous And his mouth was full of drool The fool just stood there talking And he was ambushed by a brute He has seen his kind before And his senses were astute Then he came across a woman And her outlook was so cold She took the warmth right from his hands And the bread right out his bowl When he reached St. Peter he said "You better open up that gate I've been waiting for so long And my appetite is great"