I'm trying to survive these strange days This life can be such an adventure The world stands before my eyes wilder than it has ever been I forgot these old memories of youth That were caught right under the surface Forgot these souvenirs of you that were calling back the pain I never felt happy somehow But I'm trying I'm trying the best I can I really wanna feel happy sometimes Really wanna know where the lights are But it only feels so wrong It's eating me alive I never know how to shorten the distance Between my heart and my head 'Cause through my eyes, the days are monochrome I wanna feel the light of a new day But I'm so scared of it all... I'm scared this utter joy ain't lasting forever It's eating me alive I never felt happy somehow But I'm trying I'm trying the best I can I really wanna feel happy sometimes Really wanna know where the lights are But it only feels so wrong It's eating me alive I'm trying to survive my feelings The joy is the ghost of a wanderer Lost somewhere outside of here Counting every hour