(Heaton/Rotheray) This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise So let me sit you down and tell you how I won first prize I took on your free enterprise and your pretty little shops Walked in with empty bags and walked out with the lot So I've come for my award, I've come for my award I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford Let hands be shook Champagne poured Sentence ignored Yes. I've come for my award This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise Anyone want a gold watch in a ladies' size? There's a few more round the back I stole them from your shop We've got no more in silver, that's all that you'd got So I've come for my award, I've come for my award I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford Let hands be shook Champagne poured Sentence ignored Yes. I've come for my award I chatted with your guards and winked at roving eye A thousand hidden cameras were searching cross the sky But they didn't see me pinch them from underneath their eyes So I've come for my award, I've come for my award I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford Let hands be shook Champagne poured Sentence ignored Yes. I've come for my award Jesus was my greatest accomplice Jesus was my greatest accomplice Jesus was my greatest accomplice Yes, I've come for my award Hairdryer, overcoat, telly, dot-to-dot Video, compact disc, there's nothing we forgot Whilst I was busy smiling my father got the lot I've come for my Award