I can feel it coming like a void inside my stomach Am I watching or performing? And will you heed my warning When I tell you that I have been here before? Before I can feel it flowing through my veins and through my blood I can feel the hatred growing like a nearing crimson flood Oh, I feel as if my conscience is drugged Is drugged I feel sick I thought that I'd already filled this pit I feel sick And I'm not sure how much longer I'll hide it Just how many times can I toe the line? Does everything look fine? Am I gonna meet the deadline? Read between the lines Can you see the signs? Did you hear it from me Or was it through the grapevine? Tell me what I see, tell me what I fear Tell me what I wanna hear Tell me when my death will draw near Play me like a fool until you disappear Making me believe that all I do is insincere Everything I see, everywhere I go Like you're lookin' at me through a one-way window "Sing a different song," "Play a different note." You're a hidden disease without an antidote I'll wear a thin disguise and tell the usual lies Hit 'em right between the eyes and blame my mistakes on hindsight Begin to believe in my own bullshit Until one day, I admit I feel sick I thought that I'd already filled this pit I feel sick And I'm not sure how much longer I'll hide it I feel sick I thought that I'd already filled this pit I feel sick And I'm not sure how much longer I'll hide it My mind is slowly numbing To the pain, I am succumbing Am I something? Am I nothing? Is it hatred? Is it loving? I can feel the anger coming, it's a silence my chest But the cancer keeps on growing, pretending it knows what's best I can feel it slowly seeping, a parasite in the mind Everything I see before me, everything I've left behind It comes when I'm sleeping and then it festers when I wake Before it finally explodes, manifesting as heartache Please just tell me something that can put my soul to rest Every emotion I have is one that I chose to repress Because the only thing scarier than the thought I'm alone Is the idea of taking that step into the unknown It's safety in solitude, stay by myself Don't give them the attitude, don't let them help Because it's way easier to lie, and say that you're doing fine Instead of opening up and giving your friends a thorough line I can feel it coming, please don't make me open up Yeah, I promise that we're better off just leaving this one shut All this hatred stems from a place of love Of love So, please don't take it personally and please don't think me vile But it's so much less disturbing just to grit your teeth and smile So I think that I will stay here a while A while A while