I'm living with the love of my life So I'm living with the best distraction I do my best to a sickening extent But with every romance I'm still the same person No one ever really hears me I love to tell myself these things No one ever understands me I love to tell myself these things But what if all this is a good sign And when I let go it makes space to try I've been sifting through my memories I don't advise it if you wanna look pretty I've been studying a picture of me at five Spending thousands of dollars just to get back that light It'd be easier to blame you I love to tell myself these things I'd be easier to love too I love to tell myself these things But what if all this is a good sign And when I let go it makes space to try When everything falls apart, I will trust it Kicking and screaming ends up in a silence Here in the quiet I wake up to more Looking up at the ceiling and down at the floor When everything falls apart, I will trust it Watch as the light shines on all my illusions Here at the bottom I cannot play god I am the thing I've been choking on