(Skip Ewing/Donny Kees) Let me tell you 'bout my alma mater Got educated by a rich man's daughter I didn't have to read a single book One lesson is all it took My diploma reads First Class Fool I graduated from Heartbreak School They don't teach science they don't teach math Our love is history is your only class You do your homework every lonely night Study memories till the morning light Forget about her is the golden rule That's what they teach you in heartbreak school You don't get recess you don't get lunch You don't get vacation when summer time comes You don't get in cause they think your smart You pay tuition with a broken heart I learned to cry and I learned to moan I learned I hate to spend my nights alone I studied hard on how do I forget you (then I.) Wrote a speech on wish I'd never met you I got accepted to who needs U I was the Valedictorian at Heartbreak school You don't get recess you don't get lunch You don't get vacation when summer time comes You don't get in cause they think your smart You pay tuition with a broken heart So come enroll if you've been mistreated Get extra credit if your baby cheated All you need are tears and misery To start working toward your Ph.D Everybody past the age of two Gets educated at Heartbreak School You'll never find yourself a love that's true 'Til you've graduated from Heartbreak School