Listen, I got 36 expressions Sweet as pie to tough as leather And that's six expressions more than all them Barrymores put together Instead of just kicking me why don't they give me a lift? I think it's a plot 'Cause they're scared that I got Such a gift Well, I'm miffed Cause I'm the greatest star I am by far But no one knows it Wait! They're gonna hear a voice A silver flute Ah ah ah ah They'll cheer each toot (Hey, that kid is terrific, huh?) When I expose it Now can't you see to look at me That I'm a natural Camille As Camille I just feel I've so much to offer (Hey, listen kid I know I'd be divine because) I'm a natural cougher Some ain't got it, not a lump I'm a great big clump of talent Laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha! They'll bend in half (You ever hear the story of the traveling salesman?) A thousand jokes (Stick around for the jokes) A thousand faces I reiterate When you're gifted, then you're gifted These are facts I've got no axe to grind Hey, what are they blind? In all of the world so far I'm the greatest star Who is the pip with pizzazz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamorous as? Who's an American beauty rose? With an American beauty nose? And ten American beauty toes? Eyes on the target and wham One shot, one gun shot and bam! Hey Mr. Ziegfeld! Here I am! I'm the greatest star I am by far But no one knows it That's why I was born I'll blow my horn Till someone blows it I'll light up like a light Right up like a light I'll flicker then flare up! All the world's gonna stare up Looking down you'll never see me Try the sky cause that'll be me! I can make 'em cry! I can make 'em sigh! Someday they'll clamour for my drama Have you guessed yet Who's the best yet? If you ain't, I'll tell ya one more time You'll bet your last dime In all of the world so far I am the greatest, greatest star