I have a lazy pardner name Ned I don't know why this man ain't go dead I have a lazy pardner name Ned I don't know why the scamp wouldn't dead Like if he tie he two hands on top a shelf He wouldn't make an effort to help himself If you would listen attentively You go hear what the vagabond do to me "Sparrow, Sparrow!" he start shouting "Come quick!" I say, "Well something happening You know the criminal stay by he WC And bawling, "Bring a piece of gazette paper for me" Well, it have some others in Port of Spain Who intend to live only by their brain These kind of people don't work nowhere And you could catch them in the court house everyday This the case of a fellow they calling King He made an attempt to steal a diamond ring They charge him fifty dollars, telling him he slack "The attempt is just as good as the act" So he made an attempt to pay the clerk And then pull back his hand in a jerk "If the attempt is as good as the act," he say "All you could keep the attempt, I go keep the pay!" Now as smart shopkeeper named Mister Farrell Had some saltfish inside a barrel He say when it soak with a lot of water For two weeks, it bound to weigh heavier But to take it out, Farrell clean forgotten The saltfish stay there and start to rotten The man watch the barrel and start to cry And decide he going to put the saltfish to dry Now an old blind man came up crawling Stand up right where the saltfish was drying When he smell the fish, you know he start to sneeze... "Good evening, ladies!" Well this is the one that make me bawl Imagine I laugh 'til I nearly fall Two big men had an argument In the middle of town on a pavement It happen that they argue for the whole night In the morning early they start to fight Police come and push them in the van You know they still want to fight in the station One telling the other, "You too stupid" The next one say, "All right, wait a minute If you smart, bend down and touch your toe And as I stupid, you go know where barley grow"